I thought long and hard about whether to blog or not. Would I keep it separate from my new business? What would I focus on? What do I want to say to the world? Do I really want to put myself out there? Well, I’ve always lived my life truly believing that if sharing my story will help at least one person then it is definitely worth telling.
Part of my story is living with and managing my major depression disorder. I’m almost 40 years old (oh my! time flies) and I haven’t give up (even though I’ve had my moments when I felt like it over the years). To me, continuing to fight to see the positive and trying to take things day by day is a huge accomplishment! So, since it is such a big part of my daily life and it does effect my business I decided that yes, I will combine my new biz with my goal to support mental health awareness. Sharing my story of combatting depression and not letting it stop me from pursuing life is a story I want to tell. I sincerely hope that it helps someone out there to not give up in that moment and perhaps even inspire them to go for their goals. In recent years I’ve had to transition to accepting that I mentally and emotionally am not always capable of doing as much as before. I’ve had to learn to be grateful for baby steps, that I’m even able and willing to take those. Taking a step no matter how small is better than not taking any steps at all!
Speaking of steps, writing this first blog post was more than a baby step. It’s more like a huge leap! Ha! It took me a few days to finally just do it and write it. I’ve had anxiety (from feeling vulnerable) and hit a depression bump in the road (more like a pot hole) as soon as I decided to write it. Yes, feeling or avoidance of feeling my emotions is a depression trigger for me. Anyhoo, I had a couple days where it was a feat to just make sure I fed myself. I’ve learned to allow myself to have those days as I know that black cloud will pass. I’ve learned to just let it be, try to take care of myself and do what I can to help myself. Sometimes I force myself to exercise and get those endorphins to kick in, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I pray, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I have a breakdown, sometimes I don’t. Regardless of what I do or don’t do, I refuse to give up and I fight to keep looking ahead step by step. My why(s) are big enough to keep me going. So here’s to taking my first step in the blogging world. Hope I don’t fall! Eh, but if I do then I’ll just get back up. 😉